December 13, 2023

POLIGAMI: BERMULA DENGAN CURANG

Saya sangat percaya 90% of female population in Malaysia tak suka dengan topik poligami. 10% mungkin mempunyai pengalaman yang baik dalam kehidupan berpoligami dan mengindahkan makna poligami disisi agama Islam. Sebagai seseorang yang beragama Islam kita tidak boleh menidakkan hukum hakam poligami semestinya ia SUNNAH & HALAL tapi kita boleh menidakkan kalau suami kita nak berpoligami, Hahahaha. Tapi ini betul. Saya ambil petikan sedikit daripada laman sesawang Pejabat Mufti Wilayan Persekutuan (LINK).

Jawapan:

 1. Tidak berdosa hukum ke atas seorang isteri untuk melarang suaminya untuk berpoligami apabila terdapat keperluan untuk membantahnya 

 2. Adapun jika melarang dengan menjustifikasikan dengan perkara-perkara yang disyariatkan maka adalah dibenarkan dan dianjurkan

 3. Mencegah daripada menyakiti hati isteri dan mengakibatkan gangguan berlebihan apabila isteri itu ditimpa penyakit cemburu 

Sunat: 
Ini sekiranya lelaki itu mempunyai keperluan untuk berkahwin lain jika beristeri satu tidak dapat menjadikan dirinya afif (menjaga syahwatnya daripada zina dan maksiat), atau isteri itu sakit, atau mandul tidak dapat mengandung, sedangkan suami itu inginkan anak, dalam keadaan suami itu memiliki keyakinan untuk berlaku adil antara isteri-isterinya. 

Tapi kebanyakan daripada cerita-cerita wanita yang dimadukan semuanya bermula dengan CURANG. Saya tak nak ambil kisah atok nenek kita dulu. We are here now in 21 century, cheating medium and entertainment are everywhere and risky to every individual male or female to get curang. Serba kekurangan pasangan dalam salah satu penyebab utama curang berlaku. Serba kekurangan pasangan tu i am not go thru one by one cause im here not to write in academic way with proof and all but to straight to the point in personal opinion as a female person.

Berbalik kepada kehidupan kita sebagai manusia dimuka bumi ini, kita diciptakan sempurna secara fizikal tetapi tidak sempurna dari segi akal dan fikiran. Ini bermakna dari segi cara kita berfikir dan bertindak tidaklah 100% sempurna. Kita manusia yang sentiasa diuji dan khilaf dengan dosa-dosa. Kita ni memang tak sempurna la senang cerita, akan ada salah, akan ada je tak betul dan akan buat silap. Sama juga dengan konsep berumah tangga. Suami kita manusia biasa, isteri kita manusia biasa, ada perkara-perkara yang suami/ isteri kita tidak dapat menyenangkan atau sempurnakan hati kita tapi adakah itu penyebab kepada tindakan untuk mencari pengganti semata menyenangkan dan menyempurnakan hati kita? Ada kita pernah cermin diri dan tanya "sempurnakah aku sehingga aku ingin mencari kesempurnaan?". Tapi jangan la bahas pula kau curang then kau kata kau tak sempurna ada khilaf juga tercurang, sebab kau tak faham konsep tu awal-awal 😡 

Nak bercakap pun baru 5 bulan kahwin. Apa la sangat perkongsian berumahtangga dari saya ini. Tapi jangan pernah cari yang sempurna, kerana yang sempurna itu memang tidak akan pernah wujud. Cukup yang dapat membahagiakan hingga akhir hayat kita. Raikan kesempurnaan suami/ isteri kita sehingga hilang ketidak sempurnaan itu, pendek kata tutup 1 cela dengan 10 kebaikan pasangan. Bukan itu saja, setiap perkahwinan tu perlu ada tujuan dan matlamat, contoh tujuan untuk hidup bersama berdua hingga akhir hayat dan matlamat untuk berjaya bersama, membesarkan anak sehingga anak-anak berjaya dan lain-lain. So kita akan cenderung untuk keep on track dengan tujuan dan matlamat kita dalam berumah tangga. InshaaAllahh tiada orang ke-3. 

Sekian dari saya yang tidak membenarkan suami saya untuk berpoligami. Bagi i you are one and only <3

TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

November 30, 2023

I am at my lowest.

This year is the second year I sadly witness graduation day posts in my Instagram. One by one, my friends have finally graduated in Master, but I'm still left behind. It should have been me in 2022, but unfortunately I am not. And as the year pass, it should have been me in 2023, but still, I stays in missing.  My motivation level is often low, and it rarely reaches a high point. It all started, but I had so much hope at my first year of master. Delayed by countless delays, postponed by endless postponements, and eventually, I find myself lacking the motivation and ambition I once had. Hari tu dah feeling very high energetic to be back in track but maybe because of the family issue, and stay 2 weeks taking care of my mother in law made me can't reach my expectations and list. Semoga setiap pengorbanan dan kesabaran menjadi ladang pahala buatku.  

Sometimes I wonder why, but maybe Allah had plan better for me, He knows the best time and year I finally graduated. Maybe with baby in my belly carrying my baby on the stage while my husband watching and waving at me on the stage. 

Not just that, at this point I was thinking am I able to be a lecturer? Bila dah low motivation macam ni it is hard to me to set back and achieve my ambition. Lowest betul la right now. It has been so long I cry so much after solat, I nak graduate, I nak pensyarah tapi kenapa Allah duga macam-macam. I know it should be me myself that warm up my mind and body to be motivation, yes I question, but Why AKU MACAM NIII :((


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

I Finally Married Person


Penulisan kali ni agak ringkas dan padat, cukuplah sekadar update perkembangan diri dan jadikan platform meluah rasa disini.

UZ <3 AS

Alhamdulillah, 19 Julai 2023 yakni pada 1 muharram 1445 Hijrah saya telah selamat diijabkabulkan dengan pasangan pilihan hati berwakilkan wali bapa saya sendiri di Masjid Tunku Mizan Zainal Abidin Putrajaya. Tarikh baru islam menjadi saksi kami disatukan dengan mengambil kira barokah bulan mulia tersebut. It's a dreams to get married at 28 years old which I am aimed to end up my single life in 28-30. Allah maha mendengar, segalanya dipermudahkan dan proses berlaku sangat cepat, Alhamdulillah. For me, it is the ideal age to get married in this age, from the experience, the readiness and the maturity suit to start up the new life with someone. 

Alhamdulillah majlis bersanding telah diadakan pada 23 Ogos 2023 di De Palma Resort, Kuala Selangor dan majlis bertandang pula pada 21 Oktober 2023 di Laman Puteh, Seremban 2. Tarikh sanding dan bertandang bukanlah dipilih bedasarkan keunikan atau keistimewaan tarikh-tarikh tersebut malah disebabkan tuntutan kerja suami, ayah dan ayah mertua. Kalau ikutkan tak nak pun nak terlampau jarak-jarak sangat ni, tapi ini yang terbaik. It was such a relief tak tahu nak cakap macam mana. Everything follows according to the plan, sangat sempurna. Alhamdulillah, Miss to Mrs and I am married person already. Terima kasih untuk segalanya Ya Rab, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Baik dan sebaik-baik perancang. Bermulalah kehidupan sebagai seorang isteri, rol dan tanggungjawab semakin bertambah, semoga Allah bimbing dengan baik, Aaamiin <3


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

June 21, 2023

Polis Wanita or Bini Polis?

I tak cukup kuat ke utk jadi polis? 💩 (SUKEM Teakwando 2016).
Abaikan mulut gitu, sebab sis pakai mouthgurd


Benda ni selalu had triggered me a lot whenever:

1) Orang tanya "Polis ke?" / "Kenapa tak jadi Polis?"
2) Bila tengok perempuan Polis pakai uniform including Ibu :D 

I was grown up with both my parents as police. Membesar persekitaran penduduknya ialah Polis (Beret Polis) since 1995 ya. Ibu pula rajin libatkan I dengan program anak-anak polis or any event polis. Kiranya from little to grown up lady. Tapi yang peliknya I was never thinking of to be a police woman. Maybe my parents never encourage me to be one of them. Waktu sekolah when I started have to choose kokurikulum badan berunifrom pun, my Ibu would said "Persatuan Bulan Sabit Merah (PBSM)". Maybe she wants nurture me to be something in medical. Dari dulu cakap suruh jadi Doctor. So yeah you can see where the interest come from?. Ayah or ibu also never tell me what police do, what the best things to be police, instead vice versa. 

When I was in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) pun I did tell my parents that to mantain kolej kediaman I have to be active to collect markah merit but if I want to be secure, any alternative I have to be part in SUKSIS or PALAPES. Dorang tahu SUKSIS tu apa, and dorang bagitahu; ada Pegawai ni dari SUKSIS la, ada yang Kadet Polis waktu Diploma pun terus jump to SJN. So yeah all the explainations never encourage me to be. Tapi ayah ada la rasanya pernah cakap kalau kakak nak jadi polis boleh la ambil SUKSIS. But yeah once again, interest must be developed from the very beginning of the process, I'm late kan hurhurhur. But Alhamdullah I am greatful that I experience a lot in UKM which made me who I am now. 

Here me now will marry a Police man very soon. Haaa ni lagi satu, pun never been dreaming of marry a Police, never in my list for few reasons. Tapi bila reflect balik kalau I jadi polis boleh jadi kahwin juga dengan polis tapi mungkin bukan dengan UZ la. Boleh jadi Ahmad ke, Ali ke kan, kenal waktu rekrut ke, 1 bangunan ke, 1 jabatan ke :D. Allah dah aturkan cantik, memang kami akan kenal selepas UZ habis rekrut dan kejadiannya sehingga sekarang.

Menjawab 1 & 2 di atas sekali. Maybe orang tengok I tinggi, ibu pula polis, tambahan bakal suami polis, memang orang aim soalan "Polis ke", "Kenapa tak jadi Polis?". Nak nak sekarang I masih student, tiada pekerjaan yang boleh dibanggakan, jadi bila tengok perempuan pakai uniform or ibu ke dia jadi questioning, "ni kalau aku jadi polis ni mesti begini begitu". 

I strongly believe that Allah has planned my life macam ni; "mak bapaknya polis DAN aku bagi dia kahwin dengan polis sebab nak break the stigma about 'lelaki polis' that she always heard and seen. Aku tak bagi dia ada interest jadi polis walaupun environment dia polis sebab I have plan something better for her". InShaAllah, Aamiin <3


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

June 12, 2023

Unexpected Love

I'm thinking about something that's been going around in my head and heart: the idea of love that comes from my best experience and magical unexpected love <3

Love usually comes into our lives when we're not looking for it. It sneaks up on us like a soft breeze, quietly touching our hearts and changing our world in ways we never thought possible. It is a mysterious force that goes against reasoning and makes no sense, but it has the power to bring a lot of happiness, growth, and fulfilment.

When we talk about surprising love, we mean when someone comes into our lives out of the blue and lights a fire in us. It may happen slowly, like a fire that gets stronger over time, or it may hit us like a bolt of lightning, setting our hearts on fire at once.

Unexpected love is so charming because it can make us question what we think we know and break down the walls we've built around ourselves. It shows us that love doesn't care about age, appearance, or what other people think. It just is, tying the minds of two people together in a way that can't be explained.

Sometimes love comes out of the blue in the form of a friendship that grows into something more. This is the person who knows us well, accepts our flaws, and backs us no matter what. It's the person who can see past our faces and loves us for who we really are.

In other cases, love comes out of the blue when it seems like it shouldn't. It could be the result of a chance meeting or a happy accident that changes the direction of our lives for good. It asks us to be open to the unknown, to take risks, and to believe in the power of the universe's divine plan.

Unexpected love can be exciting and make you feel good, but it can also make you feel vulnerable and unsure. It causes us to face our fears, let someone else in on our deepest feelings, and find our way through uncharted areas of the heart. But it's in those places where we feel weak that we find the most power and growth.

If you find yourself falling in love with someone you didn't expect to, enjoy it. Embrace the trip, enjoy every moment, and have faith that love will work out in the most beautiful and unexpected ways. Let your heart lead you, and let love show you the way.

May you be lucky enough to find a love that knows no limits, defies standards, and brings you unending joy.


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

June 4, 2023

Getting Ready To Be A Wife

 


My best friend shared this screenshoot to me this week and said "Doa you dimakbulkan". ALHAMDULILLAH

I was shocked to see that I had sent her old Whatsapp texts. I don't remember saying this, but yes, I've been planning to get married in 28 to 30 years since I was in my early 20s. And, thanks Allah, my prayer and dream have come true. I'll be a wife in a month and a few days to Mr. UZ <3

All plans are carried out the way they were made. 80% of everything is set up, but I'm worried about the Pilihan Raya Negeri, which the prediction may happening in July, the same month as my event. I hope the signal is fixed and that there won't be any more delays, Aamiin

P/S: Masa ni belum sign up master lagi, bulan 10 baru official master students and it almost 3 years tak habis lagi. Tak cari kerja tapi cari husband, Hahaha. InshaaAllah this year settle habis tesis master then road to PhD! YAYY.. Semoga Allah izinkan dan mudahkan, Aamiin.


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

March 10, 2023

IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK

Today I'm getting a head start on writing my thesis by updating this blog first thing in the morning. There's something I've been keeping inside for the past 15 hours that needs to be let out here. Thus on 7 March 2023 (Tuesday) I got an interviewed for the position of Pegawai Penyelidik Sosial at Jabatan Kesihatan Wilayah Persekutuan & Putrajaya. It was the first offer I'd received in almost three years since deciding to focus on the education profession (My study and RA things). I was psyched to start preparing for the interview. I felt that I needed to take action because I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my day-to-day activities, which consisted of getting up, doing house chores, and then going back to laptop-ing. I need dedication to force me out of my comfort zone and into new experiences, such as learning something new and talking to people from many background. What made me delighted about the location was that it is close to the workplaces of both my mother and my fiance. My thoughts at the time were focused on "Ni kalau dapat ni boleh pergi kerja dengan ibu", "boleh breakfast or lunch dengan tunang", "if dah kahwin nanti duduk Bukit Aman lagi senang nak pergi kerja". Seriously I let my wild thoughts like I will be accepted to the position :X

There is a dramatic situation that occurred before I was able to make it to the interview, but that doesn't really matter.

From what I saw in the email, 14 people are invited to the interview, but only 6 of them, including me, show up on that date. 1 man, 5 woman. When we were getting ready in this one room (Tak ingat apa nama bilik tu), we were given a test to complete in the 20 minutes that we had before our names were called one at a time for the interview session. To summarize, my turn received really positive response from the panels, Alhamdulillah. Throughout the interview, I am at ease. I tried my absolute best, and the feedback indicates that I will be hired. They said the result will be informed at the end of March and start working on early April.

10/3/23 - After Isyak

I opened my inbox and received a message from the same email account that offered me the interview, 'Dukacitanya". A little bit of a shock when I got the email that I wasn't the one they chose for the job. I was pretty sure at the time that I could get the offer, though. Can you imagine how positive they were during the interview and how well I got along with them sampai rasa glowwing and confident dapat :D

My Observation

I saw why I did not get the offer. The two most important factors are 1) AGE and 2) SINGLE. 

1) I believe I am the only applicant who seems mature and aged :D 

2) During the interview, I was asked, "Are you single? ", "Are you engaged? ", "Is your fiancé know you want to work?", "This is a demanding role, are you able to work on weekends?", and "Can your parents and fiance understand?".

To recap, they are looking for new and young candidates to fill the post, and they need he/she to be able to commit to and be ready for work twenty-four hours a day without failing. They may believe that since I am 28 years old, getting married, and likely to get pregnant in the near future that I will be unable to accomplish many things when they request. 

Well, even before this, this problem has been circling about in my thoughts. I was thinking about how it is not all that simple for married women to create a career in the beginning since there would be issues with acquiring leaves for pregnancy manternity leaves (60 days) and so on.

Yet, I am somewhat disappointed since I want and like the job. Nonetheless, I am attempting to be more optimistic about the fact that I do not deserve the job since they do not deserve me. And I have the job that was created just for me. 

I am currently enjoying the rezq that Allah SWT has given me, which is that I was able to spend time with my family, I have a loving fiance, I am able to concentrate more on my thesis, and I will get married this year. I look forward to other positive aspects, one of which is that this is not my rezq. All of them are the rezq yang I perlukan. InshaaAllah akan ada rezq yang tak diduga untuk I even more <3


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

February 14, 2023

The missing stories in 2022

I wrote this on 14 February 2023, which made my last post almost hit a year. Since my previous post on March 2022, there have been many stories behind everything. Let's begin the story of monthly highlight -


MARCH 2022

It was a struggle month with mental challenges. I have to make a life choice. My parents did encourage me to choose someone they accidentally loved at first sight (I address him as UZ). It was a difficult choice since I had been in the previous relationship for almost 6 years. Either take a rest from loving someone OR try to love someone new. Making a serious relationship is a commitment. If you choose to love someone new, you must start from the beginning, restart everything from the past, and rebuild the most heartbroken you go through every piece. The new commitment I had to be involved in was how tough I was at that time if I had to obey my parent's wishes. 

I lost my Abah, my uncle who raised me since I was small. It was the most hurtful feeling and still presses me when I return to Kampung. All the memories run fresh whenever I stay in Kampung. He was a strict and disciplined man but loving at the same time with his own style, and he needed someone who understood him to tackle and soften the seriousness. I miss him a lot, Al-Fatihah to Biran bin Mohamad


APRIL 2022

The sweetest Ramadhan I had; after tarawih, until bedtime, I had the most romantic pillow talk conversation with someone, even to early sahoor. Knowing someone's heart during Ramadhan made my heart melt. It was so quick and smooth, after all. At one stop, I wonder how it all started, how UZ caught my attention unpredictably. 


MAY 2022

Raya, in 2023, was in mixed feelings. Lost and miss someone (Arwah Abah) and Raya with someone new. 
 

JUNE 2022

Officially merisik with UZ. Alhamdulillah, beautiful day, moment and everything follows accordingly to the plans. An intimate event with just 2 families, parents and siblings witnessing the day we two were about to be knotted sooner. The dates of the engagement and solemnisation day had been chosen. Alhamdulillah 1 ring on my finger <3


JULY 2022

Another grieving time and hurtful feeling since March I lost my Abah. I lost my Nyai on 15 July, the most important person in my life after my parents. She raised me since I was small, just like Abah. But our relationship is extraordinary. She took care of me like her own child. She brought me anywhere when she had to. We love to make many topics from morning to night that made us both special. I don't expect to lose her this year since she was a healthy grandma who just lost her sight 5 years ago, which made her stressed to survive her routine. But the day I got a call from mak long that Nyai was admitted to Hospital, I didn't take it seriously until I met her in Hospital, lying down on a hospital bed with her eyes closed. How I wish at least I could talk to her. Allah is the Greatest, she passed away on 15 July and was buried peacefully on 16 July. Al-Fatihah to Sa'mah binti Kordi

The most tortured feeling, as I can't take any opportunity to introduce UZ to Nyai. 


AUGUST 2022

Preparing Tunang stuff with ongoing fieldwork. Hectic and exciting month!


SEPTEMBER 2022

Officially engaged on 3 September 2023, alhamdulillah. Many to share! The most admirable Tunang event I've been dreaming of was finally accomplished. The contents that I'm gonna share include preparation and tips. 2 rings on my finger! Wuuu ~


OCTOBER 2022

Still catch up being tunangan orang :D. Shower with more love from UZ. Getting to know more about UZ's family.

Fieldwork is still ongoing but showing slow progress due to supervision issues. This time plays mental irritation and swallows my sorrow from hope to hell. This will be my single post! To future master and PhD students, please choose your SV wisely, check out his/her background do a few surveys for the sake of your future. 


NOVEMBER 2022

Nothing to share about this month. Juggling with fieldwork and interviews. Demotivated about my master study, almost ended up and look for a job. 

Making steps to wedding preparation such as venue, attire and wedding planner.


DECEMBER 2022

Ibu was diagnosed with lymph node tuberculosis, making me focus on ibu's health. 

Memorable month; to celebrate UZ's birthday <3 
Knowing you are like a hidden gem hiding behind the deep ocean. I couldn't see through my eyes, but my heart dived and found you. We don't plan to make the relationship happens this far, but we unite because of takdir & hikmah that has brought us. 


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT