March 10, 2023

IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK

Today I'm getting a head start on writing my thesis by updating this blog first thing in the morning. There's something I've been keeping inside for the past 15 hours that needs to be let out here. Thus on 7 March 2023 (Tuesday) I got an interviewed for the position of Pegawai Penyelidik Sosial at Jabatan Kesihatan Wilayah Persekutuan & Putrajaya. It was the first offer I'd received in almost three years since deciding to focus on the education profession (My study and RA things). I was psyched to start preparing for the interview. I felt that I needed to take action because I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my day-to-day activities, which consisted of getting up, doing house chores, and then going back to laptop-ing. I need dedication to force me out of my comfort zone and into new experiences, such as learning something new and talking to people from many background. What made me delighted about the location was that it is close to the workplaces of both my mother and my fiance. My thoughts at the time were focused on "Ni kalau dapat ni boleh pergi kerja dengan ibu", "boleh breakfast or lunch dengan tunang", "if dah kahwin nanti duduk Bukit Aman lagi senang nak pergi kerja". Seriously I let my wild thoughts like I will be accepted to the position :X

There is a dramatic situation that occurred before I was able to make it to the interview, but that doesn't really matter.

From what I saw in the email, 14 people are invited to the interview, but only 6 of them, including me, show up on that date. 1 man, 5 woman. When we were getting ready in this one room (Tak ingat apa nama bilik tu), we were given a test to complete in the 20 minutes that we had before our names were called one at a time for the interview session. To summarize, my turn received really positive response from the panels, Alhamdulillah. Throughout the interview, I am at ease. I tried my absolute best, and the feedback indicates that I will be hired. They said the result will be informed at the end of March and start working on early April.

10/3/23 - After Isyak

I opened my inbox and received a message from the same email account that offered me the interview, 'Dukacitanya". A little bit of a shock when I got the email that I wasn't the one they chose for the job. I was pretty sure at the time that I could get the offer, though. Can you imagine how positive they were during the interview and how well I got along with them sampai rasa glowwing and confident dapat :D

My Observation

I saw why I did not get the offer. The two most important factors are 1) AGE and 2) SINGLE. 

1) I believe I am the only applicant who seems mature and aged :D 

2) During the interview, I was asked, "Are you single? ", "Are you engaged? ", "Is your fiancé know you want to work?", "This is a demanding role, are you able to work on weekends?", and "Can your parents and fiance understand?".

To recap, they are looking for new and young candidates to fill the post, and they need he/she to be able to commit to and be ready for work twenty-four hours a day without failing. They may believe that since I am 28 years old, getting married, and likely to get pregnant in the near future that I will be unable to accomplish many things when they request. 

Well, even before this, this problem has been circling about in my thoughts. I was thinking about how it is not all that simple for married women to create a career in the beginning since there would be issues with acquiring leaves for pregnancy manternity leaves (60 days) and so on.

Yet, I am somewhat disappointed since I want and like the job. Nonetheless, I am attempting to be more optimistic about the fact that I do not deserve the job since they do not deserve me. And I have the job that was created just for me. 

I am currently enjoying the rezq that Allah SWT has given me, which is that I was able to spend time with my family, I have a loving fiance, I am able to concentrate more on my thesis, and I will get married this year. I look forward to other positive aspects, one of which is that this is not my rezq. All of them are the rezq yang I perlukan. InshaaAllah akan ada rezq yang tak diduga untuk I even more <3


TERIMA KASIH. SEMOGA BERMANFAAT

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