I wrote this on 14 February 2023, which made my last post almost hit a year. Since my previous post on March 2022, there have been many stories behind everything. Let's begin the story of monthly highlight -
MARCH 2022
It was a struggle month with mental challenges. I have to make a life choice. My parents did encourage me to choose someone they accidentally loved at first sight (I address him as UZ). It was a difficult choice since I had been in the previous relationship for almost 6 years. Either take a rest from loving someone OR try to love someone new. Making a serious relationship is a commitment. If you choose to love someone new, you must start from the beginning, restart everything from the past, and rebuild the most heartbroken you go through every piece. The new commitment I had to be involved in was how tough I was at that time if I had to obey my parent's wishes.
I lost my Abah, my uncle who raised me since I was small. It was the most hurtful feeling and still presses me when I return to Kampung. All the memories run fresh whenever I stay in Kampung. He was a strict and disciplined man but loving at the same time with his own style, and he needed someone who understood him to tackle and soften the seriousness. I miss him a lot, Al-Fatihah to Biran bin Mohamad
APRIL 2022
The sweetest Ramadhan I had; after tarawih, until bedtime, I had the most romantic pillow talk conversation with someone, even to early sahoor. Knowing someone's heart during Ramadhan made my heart melt. It was so quick and smooth, after all. At one stop, I wonder how it all started, how UZ caught my attention unpredictably.
MAY 2022
Raya, in 2023, was in mixed feelings. Lost and miss someone (Arwah Abah) and Raya with someone new.
JUNE 2022
Officially merisik with UZ. Alhamdulillah, beautiful day, moment and everything follows accordingly to the plans. An intimate event with just 2 families, parents and siblings witnessing the day we two were about to be knotted sooner. The dates of the engagement and solemnisation day had been chosen. Alhamdulillah 1 ring on my finger <3
JULY 2022
Another grieving time and hurtful feeling since March I lost my Abah. I lost my Nyai on 15 July, the most important person in my life after my parents. She raised me since I was small, just like Abah. But our relationship is extraordinary. She took care of me like her own child. She brought me anywhere when she had to. We love to make many topics from morning to night that made us both special. I don't expect to lose her this year since she was a healthy grandma who just lost her sight 5 years ago, which made her stressed to survive her routine. But the day I got a call from mak long that Nyai was admitted to Hospital, I didn't take it seriously until I met her in Hospital, lying down on a hospital bed with her eyes closed. How I wish at least I could talk to her. Allah is the Greatest, she passed away on 15 July and was buried peacefully on 16 July. Al-Fatihah to Sa'mah binti Kordi.
The most tortured feeling, as I can't take any opportunity to introduce UZ to Nyai.
AUGUST 2022
Preparing Tunang stuff with ongoing fieldwork. Hectic and exciting month!
SEPTEMBER 2022
Officially engaged on 3 September 2023, alhamdulillah. Many to share! The most admirable Tunang event I've been dreaming of was finally accomplished. The contents that I'm gonna share include preparation and tips. 2 rings on my finger! Wuuu ~
OCTOBER 2022
Still catch up being tunangan orang :D. Shower with more love from UZ. Getting to know more about UZ's family.
Fieldwork is still ongoing but showing slow progress due to supervision issues. This time plays mental irritation and swallows my sorrow from hope to hell. This will be my single post! To future master and PhD students, please choose your SV wisely, check out his/her background do a few surveys for the sake of your future.
NOVEMBER 2022
Nothing to share about this month. Juggling with fieldwork and interviews. Demotivated about my master study, almost ended up and look for a job.
Making steps to wedding preparation such as venue, attire and wedding planner.
DECEMBER 2022
Ibu was diagnosed with lymph node tuberculosis, making me focus on ibu's health.
Memorable month; to celebrate UZ's birthday <3
Knowing you are like a hidden gem hiding behind the deep ocean. I couldn't see through my eyes, but my heart dived and found you. We don't plan to make the relationship happens this far, but we unite because of takdir & hikmah that has brought us.
